Detriment
by every-holmes-for-every-watson
Summary: "It's funny, I cursed everyone and everything for this happening to you. I prayed to whatever God may exist to give us our little infinity. You and I were meant to rule the world, Sherlock. We were made to love and to be loved by each other." John bids his final goodbye to Sherlock. Johnlock! Warning: Major Character Death, Depression.


**John's POV**

"Our wedding," John says, his hand grasping Sherlock's, "remember when we were cutting the cake and I made the sudden decision to swipe some onto your nose? The white frosting gleamed from the tip of your nose, and I've never seen you more embarrassed and happy in your life."

Sherlock's eyes stayed shut, the machine beeping his heart beats.

"It's funny, I cursed everyone and everything for this happening to you. I prayed to whatever God may exist to give us more time. You and I were meant to rule the world, Sherlock. We were made to love and to be loved by each other."

His short curly hair dimmed within the faint light of the hospital room, and his hand clasped his a little tighter.

"I don't want you to leave me. I don't want you to go, Sherlock. This is killing me. I have loved you ever since I saw you the first day I shot that cabbie. You were about to get yourself killed to prove you were smarter, and I thought it was a good idea to kill another man to save another one I barely knew. God, I was such an idiot." He laughs with acid and looks doubtful. "You can leave me now. If you can hear me, Sherlock, you can leave me. Just know that I'll never forget about you. I'll never forget the way your body heat molded with mine in the night, or the way you would laugh when my fingertips gripped your sides, or even your shy kisses you'd plant against me in the dark of night. I won't forget our intimate moments, our fights, or the good and bad. You will always be planted in my memory, Sherlock. No one will ever be able to take that away from me."

Sobs erupted from his throat, but he still managed to smile. "Go on, Sherlock. I'll love you from this lifetime to the next. _Go on._"

His heartbeats gradually got slower and staring upon his sleeping face cut into his skin but he would curse himself if he would ever look away.

It shouldn't be long now.

"You have made me a better person, Sherlock, you have made me laugh and cry. You taught me to love. You taught me to love myself. Your love and care will forever be implanted in my brain. Our warming memories will always be tattooed within my ribcage. I know I'm telling you to leave me, when the truth is that I don't want you too." He can't remember if he is still whispering or starting to shout, but that doesn't fathom into his mind. These last words will be the most important ones he will ever speak for the rest of his life. "But I can't stand to see you hurt anymore. Remember me. Wherever you go, Sherlock, _remember_ me just as I'll always remember you."

Just as life slips away from him, he feels the faintest squeeze on his hand.

Then he leaves.

He felt himself drown with the pure fact that Sherlock is gone. The color he brought into his world is gone and he is left residing in black and white. His heart pumps the blood of a tormented man, whipped with the chains of loneliness, regret, and yearning. Soon, he knows, his heart will expire and he'll be able to see him again. He'll be able to watch him smile and laugh as he solves more impossible cases, and witnessing his curly hair bouncing with excitement. Their love was of no other, of that he was sure. Their love was the love that was meant to be on movie screens. Rain is splattering its merciless melodies against the glass window, and he feels his soul take a painful tug. His life ends here, this is the final chapter of their book and he is burdened with the blessed curse of Sherlock's love. All he wants is to have his lips caress his marble skin, to feel his body arch against his, and the thought of it makes yearning replace his bone marrow.

He is alone. But he will see him again.

_His Sherlock._

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**I hope you guys liked this. I'm depressed, so this fanfic came out of no where. Please review!(: **


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